I find that I do now believe in God. Since being freed from the limiting reaches of Positivism I feel comfortable holding beliefs on metaphysical matters that transcend what we can possibly know at this time. That is if we shall ever know. When stuck between two different options, like belief in God vs disbelief in God, it is downright foolish to choose no sides when it is on such a matter of great import. If one wishes to be intellectually honest then one must make a decision and live _as if_ one option were true because it serves as the bedrock for nearly all further beliefs and actions in life.
The existence of God is no small matter and those who live under the title of "agnostics" are really choosing to live under the assumption that no God exists. Without a positive belief then a non-belief is essentially the same as a negative belief. This is a true utilitarian understanding of Pascal's wager. I don't believe in the afterlife, but I understand how this belief will directly affect my current life and so I must play.
Now, one does not need to pretend that one's beliefs are necessarily true or that they must be free from criticism or any other silly category that people put their special beliefs in. One just needs to recognize the nature of the beliefs as a matter of faith - different from the more reliable method of empirical study and rational thinking. We must find some belief to build on in order to move on and create a philosophy that we can live with. Some shaky belief system based on pragmatism and hedonism just doesn't lead to a fulfilling life or conceptual progress. We must move up in order to move on.
I find that I cannot conceive of a Universe that just sprang into existence by itself. I find that all the intricate and specific laws on which our Universe operates leads to an ordered existence that I cannot believe was a cosmic accident. I find that when I study the extremely intricate and complex biochemical pathways through which our cells produce energy or through which it stores genetic information or through anything that makes life as we know it possible I am struck with a sense of awe and I cannot make sense of it unless I suppose some kind of design.
Some people might say this is my failing. That I am performing a prime example of the fallacy of incredulity - that because I cannot imagine it possible so I am saying that it cannot be true. But this is not so. All I am saying is that since I personally cannot seriously imagine it possible then I personally cannot believe it to be so. I only further and further strain my credulity when I try to conceive of natural or accidental ways in which this all could have come to be. Claiming otherwise is just foolish and dishonest to myself. I may be wrong. The evidence may fall against me in future days. But right here and right now I cannot believe it all to be some amazing coincidence and I must posit some Creator and some Designer which made the whole of Existence.
I do not necessarily propose that this Creator is conscious or intelligent or omniscient or omnipotent. Much less omnibenevolent or emotionally loving or parental. All I propose is that this Creator would be called God. This God is the Rock of the Universe. The Sustainer of all that is. What is the nature of God? Why did it do this creating? These questions and the like I cannot answer. Nor do I claim to be able to answer.
I am also not proposing that this God operates in supernatural ways or interferes with reality as we know it with miracles and wonders. I believe that evolution occurred and I reject "ID" as a scientific theory. My belief is based on evidence and my reaction to it but it is not constructed positively and cannot be called scientific. It is a matter of faith.
More to follow...