"So please explain to me what it is that you all want? So you realized that there is no God and the reasonings you were told are lies..so now what? You are in lost. You don't believe but yet you need to follow and comply because there is no way out. I just want to understand what it is that you want!?....Do you really want to live your life a sham? Lying to everyone while secretly doing what you please? Does that turn you on? I just do not get it. What is the difference if you just dont do any work on Shabbos if you are not going public. PLEASE explain to me what is the lifestyle you want!!!"
What do we want? Ultimately what we want is for Judaism to be true. Or maybe I should speak for myself when I say that. The problem is that it is not or at least as far as anyone can prove or even argue successfully.
But we also don't want to be goyim (again, speaking for myself). Not that goyim are in any way inferior, but that we are Jews and that is our heritage and that doesn't change if the metaphysics or theology is faulty. Some people stay because of family ties or because they like the community. Also reasons which I share.
So we are obviously conflicted. Which life do we want? I'm not sure.That's a judgement call that each person in our situation must make for himself. But you fail to understand the basics here because you think our desire for a preferential "lifestyle" is what drives us to doubt. But more often it is doubt that drives people to adopt a different lifestyle.